School and work has kept me ridiculously busy and I guess everyone else. I don't like it but I'm so close to finishing I might as well stay.

Back to the drawing board.

So I started school a week from yesterday and I already hate it. I should be excited though. I'm a senior in college. But I'm tired. I'm sore from all the walking and backpack carrying. Like 3 weeks ago i was SO EXCITED to get back and now i want to go back in time. Its just not fun. 8 o clock classes, 12am work shifts. dumb group projects. I dont want to do it. This past weekend was really fun though. It was a three day weekend. You know labor day. I just chilled with my friends and watched some scary movies. It was awesome. Now today, my back hurts, my head hurts, i have to work till midnight and im freaking sleepy. *just 4 more months*. then I'll have to do it all over. AH!

ALBL comes out today. I still dont have it yet. I did the preorder but i probably wont get that until friday or even next week. I do want the one from target b/c you get that dvd. Ugh, i wish i didnt do the preorder. oh well.

I'm very excited for tomorrow b/c i finally get to go home!. Home Home. not school home. Houston. Im so excited even though i will only get to be there for a week. but its ok. I have so many plans. fist of all this weekend is tax free weekend, so best believe i will be all up in the stores. but i have a budget so i wont get too crazy. and i want to see tropic thunder this weekend hopefully with my 2 besties. and...ah! i have so much catching up to do in such a little amount of time.

school starts in less than 2 weeks. im excited and nervous as always. im adjusting my major and changing my minor so ill have some major catching up to do. i also am not technicly a senior. which sucks! im just 2 hours away from being one. so i will probably have to register with the juniors in november again. damn. oh well. this year is gonna be good. here are my goals: 4.0, deans list, internship in spring, NAB, BU in NY. and maybe i'll find me a man while i'm at it. if all this happens it will be the best year i have had in school. but we shall see.

So this weekend i was alone. My roomie was still gone (even though she surprisingly showed up this morning with her mother and her sister to clean her room) and my friend had gone to austin for a wedding. But it was cool. I had plans. I had a date. haha. I was meeting up with the joe, kevin and nick. haha. no but seriously, i pretty much spend friday and saturday glued to my tv and computer screen, watching 3 minute videos and then commenting on them. but it was fun. and it kept me busy and made the time pass. but last night at about 10 when it was over, i didnt know what to do. so i just went to sleep. haha. but i went to sleep a bigger fan than than ever. i cant wait till tuesday (albl!) and i cant wait till wednesday when i finally get to go home (home home) and see all the jobro stuff my mom recorded for me over the last 2 weeks. so excited! but yeah, friday and saturday was fun, i got to kind of bond with some peeps i didnt know, in the words of the jonas brothers "it was awesome."

I didnt see this posted so:

( Jonas Brothers ‘mega event’ online, on MTV )

Last night at about 11:10pm or so I finished my internship. One a good note, might I add. I was working for a tv station in waco for the last 2 months and it was filled with trials and tribulations, boredom, extreme coldness, more boredom, confusion, and tons of file video. But you know what. It was the first time I have ever done something, stuck to it, and actually learned something. Now I did not always love it. But it did show me that it could one day be a potential job. I think I am a decent writer. I have been told so. So with a little training I think I can go far. Also last night, I wrote and "produced" my own show. I also got to go into the studio and actually film it behind the anchor desk. It was exciting and nerve wrecking. I dont know how in the hell the anchors do that shit every night, but more power to them. I was so nervous. When I watched the tape back I realized: 1) I looked like hell. I looked round, greasy, and fat. I guess the camera really does add 10 pounds, if not more. and 2) I need to work on my anchor voice if this is what I want to do. I sounded the same for every story. But thats cool. It was my first time. But I really do appreciate the ladies and gentleman that made this internship possible and I am kind of glad and kind of not that its over. But I am happy school is about to start. Finally. 

So this past Sunday I had my first experience with death. My dog died. My Beethoven. See I named my beautiful brown and white brittany spaniel after the 1992 movie of the same title. I was 5 when I got him. Yes that means ole Be' was about 16 years old. He lived a long life. It was just really sad to find him dead in the back yard in the middle of the night. I took it pretty hard. My mom took it even harder. I think its cuz she thought I was joking when I said he was laying in the middle of the yard. which is something he never did. But when we checked on him he was infact gone. I dont know what time he passed but I had realized at about 11:30 that night that I hadnt heard him all day. He was fine that morning b/c the yard people had came and he was running around with them. I dont know. But I do know that he is in a better place now.

It was really weird to me that one moment you are fine and then the next you are dead. Thats death. One moment youre alive the next youre not. And the scary thing is you dont know when its gonna happen. I have never had anyone close to me die and Id like to keep it that way. Finding my dog dead was insane. It also showed me the way I grieve. I felt like I had to take charge. When my mom realized that he was dead she went nuts. She couldnt stop crying. I had to figure out what to do with him. Its like I cried for a minute but them my mind and body went into "logic mode" I just felt the need to take charge. I drove my mom to the emergency animal hospital and offered to take care of everything. It's kind of weird to see your parents helpless.

Even though some may think he was just a dog. He wasnt. He was my first responsibility. He was my first love and fear. I will never forget Beethoven. Never.

While I am in the final stages of my internship, I find myself becoming very lazy and lax (is that a word). For example I have begun to not tell people when I am going to leave. I take extra long breaks and I come in late. I just dont care any more. Ive realized that there is not one thing that i have stayed committed to through out my life. Except my library job. But thats cuz its easy as hell, pays decent and most of my friends work there. But I think I have a problem with commitment. I dont like to commit myself to doing things because i"m afraid of missing out on something else. Now I;m no doctor or anything but that sounds like a valid prognosis of fear of commitment.

At my internship yesterday, I got pretty upset with one of the other interns b/c that bitch wouldnt let me edit the fucking video. I mean she doesnt know how to use the editing system so why was she trying to control the whole thing. SO it ended up taking a lot longer than it should have. and me being my passive agressive self. I just sat back, let her flail and FAIL and didnt say a word. I think she could tell I was pissed. good.

So i was doing my daily JoBro run through and I found this past life analyzer. Here is mine:

Your past life diagnosis:

---

I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern South China around the year 1700. Your profession was that of a trainer or holder of fine animals, such as birds..

---

Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Revolutionary type. You inspired changes in any sphere - politics, business, religion, housekeeping. You could have been a leader.

---

The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
You are bound to solve problems of pollution of environment, recycling, misuse of raw materials, elimination of radioactivity by all means including psychological methods.

So apparently I used to be a man. I guess that explains a lot.

So last night some scary shit happened. I called my mom to tell her about some financial aid stuff for school and when she answered the phone (or at least I thought it was her) there was a lady, who sounded similar to my mom, talking. But this bitch kept saying "What goes around comes around. Only God can judge you" and other Bullshit like that. it scared the hell out of me! Mostly b/c it was 11:30 at night and i was alone. I was so scared. So I hung up and called my mom back but it went straight to her voicemail but when i was going to hang up and try again she called me. So I answered. And I was all "was that you? " and she was like "What? " and I was all "are you ok?" and she asked me if I was ok b/c when i called her she could hear me but i was breaking up and it sounded like I was crying. CRYING.

That was some of the the scariest shit i have been through in a while.

Then this morning i woke up all early b.c some asshole was asking for some guy name Jose to come pick up his car from some service place. That is like the 6th time someone from a car place has called me. How many time do I have to say wrong number dammit!

Also this morning I woke up to a horrible stomach ache and when i walked outside to go to work I began sneezing a lot due to the heat.

So far this has not been a good 10 hours.

But I did get to see my girl Rihanna's new video. And that kind of scared me too. But I liked that. Bitch is FIERCE.

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"I'm tired of looking like a kid" I say as I type in "Jonas Brothers" into the MSN search bar.
          I dont think i will officially grow up until I graduate. and find a boyfriend.

But until then...I'm really sleepy. I dont know why considering I havent really been doing anything.

 My friend just showed me a jubilee of sexy men. Now i am certain that I must find me one. soon.

Tomorrow the one I love comes back. Hopefully I get to see him before he leaves. again.

 Something funny happend today: So I'm at work right, and they are doing construction in the building (I work at the library on campus) and as soon as they start making a little noise, this guy jumps up and leaves. I dont know. I guess its one of those "You had to be there moments" 

So back to my JoBro infatuation. I watched the Disney channel all day yesterday just to catch a glimpse of the sexy boys. And I did. I also found out that the Best of Both Worlds concert is on saturday and the DC games are on sunday. And best believe i will be watching both.  Sunday is also the day of my best friend's (the guy I am in love with) b-day. And I still dont know what to get him. 

                What do you get a 21 year old guy for his birthday
                                        -My Love, that's what.   

With my new found freedom (of time) at work I have decided to become active. On the world wide web of course.
                 Nothing interesting as far as life goes: I'm almost done with my internship (yes!) and I have a new found love.
                                                   JONAS BROTHERS.


Yes I am older than all of them. But not by much. Especially the one that only matters:Joe Jonas. I like, liking them. It brings me back to almost 10 years ago when i was in love with N*Sync. It's the same thing really. Hot guys singing catchy songs. Except JoBro don't dance (Yet).

                   The only thing I ever wonder. Does Joe like black girls?